my crush: haha i like you . . as a friend!
mom i need u to leave
When you’re Washing the dishes and someone comes and adds in more
first rule of fight club
- no fightin!…shakira shakiraaa
Job Interviewer: so what do you for fun?
- me: no one ever texts me
- *gets a text*
- me: wtf do you want
sometimes i lose my phone in my blankets and THEN SOMETIMES I SHAKE MY BLANKET TO FIND IT AND SOMETIMES IT FLIES AND HITS THE WALL ITS GREAT U FEEL ME
'i feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders' i say as i cut off my own head